But we also have to be practical.  One thing I & others find irritating is when people try & borrow money from us so that they can throw a party.  Gustong magkaroon ng engrandeng kasal, debut , birthday o binyag, di bale nang mabaon sa utang o manghiram ng pera sa mga kamaganak & kaibigan based abroad, makapaghanda & makapag-party lang ng magarbo.

They say the 1st, 7th & debut birthday (18 for girls, 21 for boys) dapat bongga ang handa.  If you can afford it, sure, why not!  But realistically, for the 1st birthday, your adorable little son or daughter isn’t going to remember the event, so there’s no real need to have a big party.  Kids for the most part are easy to please.  On their birthday have a simple celebration at home or take them to their favorite restaurant, no need to go into debt having food catered or holding the party at a restaurant & buying loads of gifts.  If you want to have a grand celebration for your daughter’s 18th or your son’s 21st birthday, you should start saving up as soon as you found out you’re having a baby.

Di ko rin maintindihan why some would ask for financial help for a baptism.  Aba eh mag-aanak ka, pambinyag lang di mo makayang i-provide, ba’t ka pa nagkaanak?  Wag ka nang magparty after the binyag, a simple celebration will do.

Some will say,  “Di bale, basta masaya tayo, ok lang gumastos para sa party.”  How can you be truly happy if you’re saddled with debt for a non-essential expense like a party?  And if you have no savings or life insurance to speak of & God forbid something happens like a serious illness or death of the breadwinner of the family, how will people provide for themselves?  Mangungutang uli o aasa sa mga taga-abroad to provide for their needs?

It’s ok to party, people, but let’s be practical.  If you can’t afford it, have a simple & happy celebration with family & close friends, the people who matter to you.  You might have a small & no-frills celebration, but the fun & memories will be priceless.

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COPAO
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National City, CA 91951

 
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Thank you!

I think we have very little support from our government in helping students go to college.  And large corporations & wealthy families haven’t stepped up to the plate either, or at least, none that I know of.  I’d love to be proven wrong.

I’m a believer that education is a great equalizer. But I am wondering, is there like a scholarship or financial aid on a grander scale in the Philippines that you know of? I’m aware that there are some scholarships that exist in the Philippines, but they are for honor graduates, i.e.  the valedictorian, salutatorian of the graduating class or those within the top ten of the graduating class. The average student deserves to go to college, too.

Here in the States, anyone, regardless of one’s age or academic standing, can go to college by taking advantage of government & private entity provided grants, loans & scholarships. We don’t have anything on a scale like this in the Philippines that I know of, so an average student from a poor family who has no benefactor & wants to go to college most likely will not be able to.

What do you think needs to be done so that people who want to get higher education will get help in doing so?

WHO:   your wife/female partner
WHAT:   listen to her
WHEN:   ALWAYS
WHERE:   wherever she talks
WHY:   ’cause we’re ALWAYS RIGHT

HOW:  with your ears open & your mouth shut

I am currently reading “That Used to be Us:  How America Fell Behind in the World it Invented and How We Can Come Back” by Thomas Friedman & Michael Mandelbaum.  When I came across the words ‘frustrated optimist’ I said to myself “Sapul!  That’s exactly how I feel.”

I can’t help but feel frustrated at the things I see, hear & read about the Philippines.  When I vacationed back in 2005 & 2006,  I was expecting some significant progress.  I’d been away at that point for eight years.  We stayed in Manila, Olongapo, Subic & Baguio and went to Tagaytay.  Ortigas is a larger & more impressive business district now, there are a lot of  new malls &  nice subdivisions.  But there’s simply  a lot more people everywhere & I get the feeling that  for the majority of Filipinos, the poverty level seems essentially the same.  The most common thing I heard was “Ang hirap ng buhay dito sa Pilipinas.”

Filipinos like me who live abroad cannot help but compare our lives in whatever country we’re in to life in the Philippines.  And when we write of our observations, which oftentimes points to what we see is wrong or needs to be changed back home, we usually get comments along the lines of “Traydor, nakarating ka lang sa ibang bansa yumabang ka na.   Don’t come back here, we don’t need someone like you.  Why are you airing our dirty laundry?  Puro ka reklamo, ano bang nagawa mo para sa Pilipinas?”  If a foreigner does something similar, he’s called a racist.

I find it frustrating that we’re too emotional & too quick to play the victim card.  We need to learn to be less balat sibuyas, less emotional, less concerned with what others think about us & more concerned with how we can change. Because bottom line, when you think about it, the problem isn’t government corruption, the problem isn’t someone or something out there, the problem is us.

I am frustrated that we are getting left behind by our neighboring Asian countries & I find that sad because most of the Filipinos I know are smart & hardworking.   I’ve lived in the US, Japan & Italy. I WANT the Philippines to be just as progressive as these countries I’ve lived in & others I’ve visited. 

But at the same time, I remain optimistic.    I’ve met people, both in person & online, who give me hope that things can change for the better for the Philippines.  These people are smart, educated, articulate, & are actively seeking ways to enlighten the masses.  Thanks to the internet, people are more interconnected & slowly but surely people are becoming more socially aware through the things they read & see online.

My current job exposes me to people who are involved & passionate about serving the Filipino-American community as well as helping out in the Philippines through medical outreach services, donations of goods as well as money during calamities, educational programs and other endeavors.  People like these make me hopeful that if more Filipinos, both in the Philippines & abroad, get together, share ideas & implement projects to help uplift others, more good can be done.

I am optimistic too because of three websites I’ve come across over the past several months which I highly recommend to help Filipinos become more socially aware.  All three websites are chock full of articles, some short, some long, all informative & thought provoking.  Joining their respective facebook groups will keep you updated whenever something new is written, and at the same time the facebook posts as well as the comments on these groups are at the very least interesting to read & informative as well.  You may not agree with everything that’s written or with how it’s written, but I suggest you keep an open mind & think about what they’re trying to say.  These three websites are:

http://correctphilippines.org/

http://getrealphilippines.com/blog/

http://antipinoy.com/

One particular youtube channel which is effective at putting in video format the ideas espoused in the above websites is the one by Baron Buchokoy.  Three of my favorite videos of his are:

I am optimistic that we will learn from our history, learn from our mistakes, be open to ideas that will change us for the better & adopt the best practices of other countries who have outpaced us.

There is hope for the Philippines, but  it’s everyone’s responsibility if we want the Philippines to change.  It’s not just the government’s responsibility, it’s not just the elected leaders’ responsibility, it’s EVERYONE’S responsibility.

From birth to age two I was in Olongapo, ages two to five I was in Japan because that was where Papa was last stationed prior to retiring from the US Navy.   Five to nine years old I lived on a farm in Arkansas in the US.  After Papa suddenly died of a heart attack, we went back to the Philippines so from  9-12 yrs old I lived in Olongapo.  Then Mama decided to move to Sapang Palay in Bulacan to live close to her remaining living sibling, my Tata Isko when I was 12-15 years old.  Then when he passed away, we went back to Olongapo where we lived when I was  15-17 years old.  But even when we lived in Olongapo we moved from place to place, too.  We lived in the areas of East Bajac-Bajac, Tapinac, Sta. Rita, Tabacuhan & Barrio Barretto.  Then I lived in Baguio while I was in college.  After I got married & had a child, we lived in various parts of Metro Manila - New Manila in Quezon City, Rosario in Pasig, Sampaloc, & at two different apartments in San Andres Bukid until we left for the States in 1997.

I haven’t stayed put either when we came here to the US.  1997-2000 we were in Washington state.  After Eric joined the US Navy,  2000-2005 we were in California, 2005-2008 Japan, then 2008-mid-2010 Rome, Italy.  I am now back in the US in San Diego, California.

When people say “There’s no place like home,”  I can’t really relate.  No one place is ‘home’ for me.  Home for me is not a geographical location, it is where my family & friends are at.  So in that sense, I have several ‘homes.’   For now though, San Diego is my home…but who knows where I’ll be several years from now .